Friday, January 25, 2008

How Not to Look Old

I was having a grand old time clicking around on blogs just now, when I came upon this site telling me how not to look old. I read the list of the top 25 things that must be removed from all closets (scroll down a bit), and then I ran directly to my closet and began pulling antiquities out.

(Note: She claims it's a list of the top 24, but the original list says 25. For some reason, the linked blogger removes overalls from the list. I wonder why. Does she like overalls? I say, toss the overalls! 20 years ago! We are not farmers in the field, ladies!)

From the list:
1. A holiday sweater and one close-to-being a holiday sweater
2. Elastic waist pants (OK, I never actually wore these in public; they were just for grubby jobs like painting, but they have too much paint on them, and they DO have elastic in the waist.)
3. Shoulder pads in three dresses; I haven't worn them in perhaps 7 years, but they are taking up more real estate than they deserve.
4. Thin gold chains. Everyone else wears...what?...for jewelry. I'll have to notice.
5. Souvenir t-shirts. Well, I don't actually wear these as real clothes anymore. I pull them on in the depths of summer when I sweat like a pig as I exercise. But perhaps it's time to get some real exercise clothes.
6. A backpack purse. It was falling apart anyway.

And a few pieces that were not on the list, but it was time for them to go too:
1. A baggy knit dress
2. A too-short pink sweater

Now I'm left with my real wardrobe. For this icy-cold winter weather, I have exactly:
2 pr black pants
1 pr black jeans that are too big
3 long sleeve shirts
2 jackets
3 cotton cardigans (Make that 2. I just tossed another too-short one.)
1 dress
3 skirts
1 black cami to add a layer of warmth
Who wants to go shopping for/with me?


Greta said...

hmm! I wonder if there's a list for not looking too young.

A.D. said...

Yes, there is! It's somewhere buried in the linked site. You could go browse. But it is still geared toward "more mature" ladies and how to not look like they are trying to be their teen daughters. I recall things like muffin top, bare midriff, bedhead, sagging and all that. You can imagine it for yourself.

Heather said...

what!? I need bangs? I don't think that's possible.

I don't have a granny necklace, but I do have a mommy necklace, and I like it. Also, if we're not supposed to wear flesh colored hose, are opaque white hose actually better? (bleh) or are we supposed to go bare-legged in winter?

People these days wear mainly beads, the bigger and chunkier the better. If a chain is necessary, it is usually silver and often more intricate than just a plain thin chain. I think the "key" though it to avoid the standard (24 inch?) length. But what do I know, I have a mommy necklace.

{Karla} said...

that's funny you mentioned the overalls and their disappearance from the list!! I wrote that post and had it published and noticed I had only 24 items on it, but that I had said there were 25 items on it... so I checked her (Charla's list) and checked it again, and I couldn't see what I was missing!!! It was driving me nuts (I'd already been staring at this stuff for far too long). So finally, for my sanity, I just changed it to a list of 24! lol

Thanks for pointing out what I left off. It was driving me c.r.a.z.y.!

This post of yours is fantastic! I've got to post my outfit today.


{Karla} said...

oh! And the thin gold chains have a lot of people stumped. I'm not sure why Charla included them and what replaces them. She left us all hanging!